Community Corner

Adopted Man, Born In Port Jeff, Seeks Biological Parents

Arizona man was put up for adoption in 1974, is now looking for clues to find his biological parents after recently discovering we was born in Port Jefferson.

For most of his life, Stephen P. Vairo–who was adopted when he was only a few months old in 1974–knew very little about his birth. His adoptive parents hadn’t told him much and the family moved away from Long Island to Arizona when he was three years old.

Thirty-six years later, when Stephen and his wife moved out of Arizona, he needed to get a copy of his social security card. 

“On the paperwork it said he was born in Port Jefferson,” said Stephen’s wife Charlina by phone. It was something he's never known.

Find out what's happening in Port Jeffersonwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

They searched the Internet, found Port Jefferson Patch and sent out an e-mail.

“My name is Charlina and wanted to talk to you about a story,” she wrote. “I would probably call it a human interest story. Here are some details ...”

Find out what's happening in Port Jeffersonwith free, real-time updates from Patch.

Stephen was born in Port Jefferson around Nov. 17, 1974. (His birth certificate was altered and he’s not sure of his exact birth date.) On Nov. 21 he was surrendered to Social Services of Suffolk County.

Back then, Stephen’s adoptive parents had been trying to have a baby and his mother had several surgeries to help her give birth. They decided to put themselves on a waiting list to adopt. On Valentines Day they were notified that a baby boy was available for them.

The Vairos wanted their baby delivered to them in a Catholic church. A Catholic nun presented them with their new son, two weeks after Valentines Day on March 3, 1975.

Eventually making their way off Long Island for Arizona, the couple settled down to a new life out west with their son. Some time later, Stephen’s mother gave birth to two children, a boy and a girl.

When Charlina met Stephen he was adamant that he didn’t want to have any children. But over time he changed his mind.

“He told me ‘I was adopted and if we have kids it’s something that is mine,’” said Charlina.

Deciding to have children inspired the couple to try to find Stephen’s birth parents. They knew he was originally from Long Island and now they knew he was born in Port Jefferson.

“We contacted Social Services and they provided us with as much information as they are willing to at this time,” said Charlina in her email.

According to a letter from Suffolk County Social Services, Stephen’s birth mother was a 19-year-old girl, described as Caucasian, Roman Catholic and of Italian descent. She was 5 foot 9 inches tall and weighed 150 pounds with brown hair, brown eyes and a fair complexion. Except for some allergies to dust, animal hair and grass, she was in good health. She was working as a waitress at the time while she was attending business school to become a legal secretary.

“Basically what happened is Stephen’s birth mother was 19 years old and had a fling with an army guy,” said Charlina. “According to paperwork that social services sent us she felt bad because the boyfriend had such a rough life. He was an orphan. His parents died in car accident when he was young.”

The workers at Social Services did not meet Stephen’s birth father but his mother gave them some information about him. At the time of Stephen’s conception, he was 26 years old. He was Catholic and of Polish descent. His mother said that he was 5 foot 8 inches tall and weighed about 150 pounds with a medium build. He had a fair complexion with blond hair and blue eyes. He was in the army but worked as a construction worker and she also said he was a dairy department manager.

“Stephen's father is most likely unaware of his existence,” said Charlina.

His mother decided to give up Stephen for adoption because she was too young to be a mother. Her parents supported her decision.

“She was sure she made the right decision,” the letter said.

Stephen’s maternal grandmother was 49 years old when he was born, and she worked as a keypunch operator, with one year training as a nurse. She was described as 5 foot 5 inches tall, weighed 180 pounds and had brown hair turned gray with blue eyes and a fair complexion. His maternal grandfather was 50 years old, 5 feet 11 inches tall, weighed 170 pounds and had brown hair with brown eyes. He worked at various jobs including as a waiter, a nurse and a stock room manager.

Much less was known about his paternal grandparents who had died when his biological father was very young. His paternal grandmother had been a physical therapist and his grandfather had been a construction worker and owned a restaurant.

When he was born, Stephen weighed 7 pounds, 1/4 ounce. He was jaundiced, but it cleared up and he had a small birthmark on the back of his neck.

Stephen, who now works as a chef at Frankie Bones Restaurant in North Carolina has visited Long Island a few times to visit cousins.

“He saw a Yankee game before they tore the stadium down,” said Charlina, who now works as an office manager at a cemetery.

They did some online genealogy but they ran across problems.

“Since he has an altered birth certificate he doesn’t come up in the searches,” said Charlina.

They don’t even know if Stephen is his birth name.

Stephen’s biological mother had above average intelligence and played guitar. She also liked to knit and crochet. His father liked to draw and to read.

Stephen seems to share some of the traits of his birth parents.

“He is definitely above average intelligence,” said Charlina. “If there is something that he doesn't know and you show him once - he will have it just about mastered after the first go round.”

She thinks that Stephen takes after his father in his talents.

“Drawing is a gift of his,” Charlina said. “He can draw the most beautiful sketches. He really enjoys reading. His favorite author is Stephen King and he loves true crime books.”

Unlike his mother, the only allergy he has is to cinnamon.

Even though his biological parents may not have been from Port Jefferson, Stephen and Charlina are seeking help in finding out who his biological parents may be.

“My hope is that you would run Stephen's story in the event that his birth family is still in the area and want to meet him,” she said.

If you have any information let us know in the comments, email editor Lon Cohen or send Charlina Vairo an email.


Get more local news delivered straight to your inbox. Sign up for free Patch newsletters and alerts.

We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here