Five Tips for Attracting Friendship and Relationships

Multiple research studies have shown that friendship, social support systems and having a love interest have a multitude of psychological and health benefits. However, recently the number of people that report the have no one to talk to has doubled! It seems that despite the advent of email, mobile devices, and social sites people, today have fewer meaningful relationships than in the past.

"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

If you are not in school or working for a large company with a built-in social structure and continual opportunities to meet new people, making friends can be challenging. Still, there are several strategies that can be useful for making friends and finding romance.

Volunteer - Altruism and volunteer work has been shown to have some health benefits such as strengthening our immune system, reducing stress, and improving cardiovascular functioning. You not only get to help the community, but you also get to meet people with similar interests.

Join a Fitness Center - While it may be true that youʼre not likely to have many conversations while youʼre climbing the stair-master, you will have opportunities to participate in various classes, such as yoga, or zumba. These classes offer the opportunity to talk with others and discover the common interests you may have.

Adopt a Dog - Not only will you enjoy physical and emotional benefits from having a pet, others will feel free to talk with you when you are walking your , because pets are a built-in topic for conversation.

Find Old Friends - Sometimes people get out of contact, but your old buddies from school might be missing you, so why not seek them out to see how they are doing? You may be able to rekindle these friendships and catch up with recent milestones.

Be Active in a Hobby - Make time to enjoy a favorite pastime, and see if there are groups of like-minded people you can share that common interest with. As you discuss the hobby you have in common with these other people, youʼll also discover what other similar interests you may share.

The best friendships are those where the people involved support and accept each otherʼs social identity. We value the place we have in society, whether itʼs a job or an important marker of our status like being an accomplished student, good parent, or valuable team member. Our true friends are those who support the social identity we have established for ourselves, and according to research, we are likely to distance ourselves from people (including family) who do not support what we do in the world.

Another feature of good friendships is that things tend to be positive. While self- disclosure becomes an important part of a meaningful friendship, and may lead to a relationship, if people constantly talk about their problems or use the friendship for venting their anger and frustrations, friends may start to distance themselves to avoid the negativity. Having at least a few good friendships provides a person with social support. The more we feel good about the other person the more likely we are to invest the time to keep the friendship vital and thriving. So, why not smile and say hello to someone youʼd like to know more about?