How can I be happy in life? Why am I depressed? How do I change my life? How do I attract abundance into my life? Does counseling or coaching work to change my life? How can I lose weight? Is there a secret to living a life with abundance in my health, relationship, and finances? How do I live a full and happy life?
These types of questions all revolve around creating your best life. These are the types of important questions we must ask ourselves to create the life of our dreams. When you're searching for answers everything seems like a secret. There are certainly things your present state of awareness does not allow you to see in this moment. A better life is always available to all of us.
A full life consists of developing our mind, consciousness, and awareness separate from what society dictates as “right.” If you don’t ask these questions, you live under the cloud of “should” and that’s a life-sucking, vitality-draining place to be. Living consciously is a choice that is independent of wealth, status, or religious tropisms. This is a personal journey to discover your path because society does not encourage this type of growth. It’s challenging to maintain a state of consciousness when you are dealing with the negative vibes presented by the media. And, we all have our own personal challenges on how to grow in awareness and consciousness.
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Over the last 20+ years I researched and discovered what truly helps people to live an abundant and fulfilling life. Questions like those above are asked in our personal search for consciousness and awareness. The answers are certainly not what society tells you. They are always found within you. The answers come from the life lessons we experience that provide the avenue for personal transformation and our personal success. Abundance comes from living in an energy of harmony and connection within yourself. This positive energy is not something measurable by today’s standards—but it exists.
Rule #1 You can’t create abundance idly standing by hoping to “attract” good into your life-no matter what people tell you. Look around you, despite all the recent hype about attracting this hasn’t worked for a majority of the people who tried it.
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Rule #2 Life is action. But, not chaotic, massive action in the hope that something, anything sticks in life.
Is there something wrong with them because they didn’t “succeed” at attraction? Of course not. So it’s not the person. Others believe the rational mind is the sole arbiter of good decisions-research dispells this notion as well-- simply using your rational mind to live a fulfilling life leaves gaping holes in your experience of the world. This system ignores your heart center and emotional intelligence. So that’s ineffective as well.
The centered way, what I describe as Practical Spirituality forms the basis of my book Change Your Story, Change Your Life. A healthy, fun, abundant life is created by taking the inspired actions that resonate with your truth.
To live a fulfilling, abundant, and joyful life requires continually learning new skills, questioning beliefs, and living a life filled with consciousness and awareness. There are many tools available to discover your path. Each tool will work better for different people than others. For some, radical forgiveness is the path. For others, using positive psychology, behavioral therapy, or a personal growth plan can change their life. You can grow as a person, couples can learn to create a relationship the embraces both awareness and consciousness, family systems can shift by changing the energy invested into the relationship, and business can make radical shifts into connections with the customers when these relationships represent the truth of each.
Are you working on getting out of depression or stopping self-sabotage? Are you a person that suffers from social anxiety? Is there something “wrong” with you or are you just getting a life lesson to live by? Either choice is true based upon what your internal belief system is.
What if you are a person who is not motivated by money but is motivated by random kindness? Are you into alternative health? What is your truth? What is your perception of the situation? We can be our harshest critics—that’s why it’s beneficial to work with a coach, counselor, therapist, or someone who can help you to ground yourself in a more effective perception of the world. Your perceptions create your reality but perceptions are malleable. You can change them to a more effective paradigm!
Each of us is born with intuitive knowledge about what is right for us, but the ability to connect with this insight is “schooled” out of us when we were young. We must reclaim it, but how? To reclaim your authentic self, question every self-limiting belief that you have and determine whether these beliefs are useful for creating a life filled with love, vitality, and balance– the life you want to live. If they’re not supporting and empowering you, then get rid of them. When I ask myself these questions I find some beliefs empowered my life, many did not. I threw out ineffective methods I had been taught and started from scratch.
This was really a challenge because I’ve had different types of “success” as defined by society. At one point, I was “worth” millions. When the financial markets collapsed many assets were diminished. But wait! I’m the same person before and after was I “worth” more because of a couple zeros on a bank account? One day I was “worth” millions, months later, less. Wow, that’s a powerful lesson around success and judgement! Despite having some prior relationship success, it took a complete review of my beliefs to create the love and deep connection I now share with my wife. That’s another lesson on connection and facing fear.
If you allow your worth to be extrinsically determined by others, that is a sure path to dissatisfaction, lack of abundance, and your personal hell.
Our experiences of both “success” and “failure” are how we learn about ourselves and how we grow. In our practice, our lives, and our family we don’t classify these as success or failure. We view them as learning opportunities. Each of these experiences provides incredible lessons that eventually taught me to define success as I see it, not what some external source defined and put on to me.
All manner of clients as well as professional athletes, CEOs, performers, and individuals must deal with similar types of external judgment of their worth. A large part of your happiness in life comes from being able to move beyond others’ perceptions of you to create your life, in your way. Often, what separates out the ability of people to have true abundance in their life is to learn the lessons presented to them, while dealing with the people who are criticizing and judging them.
How do you notice if you’ve learned a lesson? Let’s look at relationships. Do you notice any recurring patterns around relationships in your life? Are you constantly experiencing dysfunction, conflict or arguing about the same types of issues? There’s a lesson being presented that you are resistant to learning. Nicole and I have a new book coming out in February 2012 that details lessons and shifts that are needed to have the relationship of your dreams.
Have you ever asked yourself if you even believe it’s possible for you to achieve balance and abundance in your life? Will you allow yourself to enjoy true financial success while you are living the life of your dreams? For this type of life to manifest, you first have to believe that it is possible. Many people are carrying subconscious beliefs about themselves that will not allow abundance. For you to experience more in your life the first shift occurs within. Let’s face it, it’s not as easy as some people suggest—that you discover some attraction secret and then simply model somebody else’s success to ensure your success. Wish it was that easy, but the results speak for themselves.
Does that really seem like it’s going to work? You can model behaviors and systems but you can never model the internal drive and thinking processes of a singular person. If you could, there would be a hundred Steve Jobs or Vince Lombardi’s. There aren’t. However, you can model the systems used to increase your effectiveness. You can change your practice schedules, marketing, manufacturing process, and other components to increase the efficacy of your plan-but you’ve got to have a plan.
Your plan must come from your center. Living a life of health, vitality, and financial success requires personal growth and self-knowledge. You have more than enough skills, determination, and personal power. Now, you get to choose whether or not you make the shift toward your goals.
Defining success for yourself frees a person of a tremendous burden. The invisible bridle holding you back is removed. This is when you begin to experience abundance in all ways. Helping your dreams to manifest has become a part of my life; helping others to achieve a quantum shift in their lives by living authentically manifesting your dreams. I absolutely know that working with people to help them achieve their dreams brings abundance into my life in all ways.
Choice Point: How will you define success if your life?
Don Nenninger is an author, coach, and consultant in private paractice who specializes in helping individuals, couples, and families create the life of their dreams.
