A Message to The Gift Challenged Holiday Shopper

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." - Winston Churchill

The season of Giving is upon us regardless of our religion, politics or beliefs; we will find ourselves standing on line questioning if the gifts we are purchasing are appropriate and just wishing the line would move faster. There are those people who shop with confidence, have lists of names, sizes, colors and where to find each item at the best price. They also have bundles of coupons, a bundle for each store!  I admire these organized shoppers who have certain stores on speed-dial and I even envy them.

There is an art to gift giving. We want to find that one perfect gift that will warm the heart of the receiver, light the sparkle in the eye, lift the smile, and inspire the awe. We want to give a gift and have all of Heaven and its Angels stand and applaud our offering, just as they did when the Three Wise Men brought frankincense and myrrh to Baby Jesus. We want to present that gift that will go down in history as The Homerun of gifts; The Touchdown in the last five seconds of the fourth quarter. We want to do a victory dance!

That doesn’t usually happen to me.

I have been given the puzzled look, and the question “is this supposed to go with something else?”

I reply, “uh no, that’s it, didn’t you always want a steak scented candle? I know how much you like steak!”

I have lost friends over giving the wrong gift.

So, Christmas can be a challenging time for me. By New Year’s Eve, my friends and family might disown me due to poor gifting decisions. My problem is I try to get too creative and I think a little too hard. I decided it might also be easier to just trim the list a bit to avoid the possibility of offense. (I also decided to stop doing my shopping at 2 a.m. on HSN while sipping merlot.)

I started by making a list of who not to buy gifts for. If these people are on your list, then along with me, you might want to rethink your gifting plan.    

1. Third Cousins – Are they even relatives? You can legally marry these people!
2. Exes – This includes all Exes. Ex-Bosses, Ex-Boyfriends, Ex-Husbands, Ex-Hairdressers etc.  Just let go already!
3. FB Friends - Really? Are they on your list? I love them but I would go broke buying 223 gifts for my friends.
4. Famous People and other people who don’t know your name – Stop knitting that scarf for Hugh Jackman, he doesn’t need one anyway.
5. Nieces and Nephews over 30 – I know I will get some slack for this one, but tell them to grow up already.
6. Your pets – this is a tough one, since they are always, always, always happy with whatever I give them and those pictures with Santa are so cute! Ok, they stay on the list.
7. Any elderly person with a bad memory – Can’t you just give them the same gift as last year? (please send any hate mail to my editor)
8. People you are trying to become friends with - Friending-up by gift-giving just doesn’t work. Don’t go down that path. You will just look weird.
9. Your Sims Family, Siri, Farmville or any other inanimate object – If this is you, you might want to try #8
10. Office Gifts – Secret Santa? Really? Anyone who has ever worked in a gossipy office knows that nothing is a secret. Your boss will find out that the $5 Neti pot was from you. Just call in sick that day.

I hope that helps you to narrow down your list to make your shopping experience a little more pleasant this year. Have a Wonderful Stress-Free Holiday! Now, get out there and shop!