Not All of the Characters are on Screen

At the box office, Fast Five blew away the competition and since PJ has little to say about Vin Diesel, he has chosen instead to relate three interesting exchanges he had with movie patrons.

The first exchange:

This guy walks up to the box office, and… Sounds like the start of a joke, right? Well, it kind of is. Anyway, the guy says, “Two for Lincoln Liar.”

Now for years, PJ has been writing wrong movie names the people ask for on “the board” located in the lobby of the theater. So, as soon as he heard this one he made a mental note.

“That’s a good one for the board,” he thought to himself. And then he replied to the patron, “You mean Lincoln lawyer.”

To which the patron responded, “Same difference.”

Ouch. Apologies to the esquires out there.

The next exchange:

This lady walks up to the box office, and… Yep, here we go again.

She asks PJ about Water for Elephants.

A word about this movie. PJ has noted that for the past two weeks every single patron who wanted to see this movie has reminded him of the generally awful reviews it has received. He has been telling them that they must trust him, and go see it. In every case, but two, they all loved the picture. Interesting, huh?  PJ is still calling for an investigation of the movie review process what with all the bad reviews for good movies, and good reviews for stinkers.

This case with the lady, however, was based on a different concern. Her reluctance to see the movie was based on the issue of cruelty to animals. PJ understood. He, also, was initially hesitant to watch the movie because he had the same concerns. PJ is well aware that animals are the best people.

And so, he suggested to the lady that she might prefer to observe cruelty to people instead of cruelty to circus animals.

“Go see The Conspirator,” he advised.

She concurred, was grateful for the suggestion, and happily walked up the stairs for the execution of Mary Surrat.

And then there’s Shep.

Shep is a cowboy of sorts. His son, Gene Shepard is the terrific guy who, along with his wife, Maria, owns and operates the Good Shepard Auto Body Shop in Coram.  Shep looks like he’d be more comfortable in Wyoming instead of Port Jefferson Station. String tie, boots, Stetson.  You get the idea.

Well, anyway, Shep loves the movies and PJ enjoys the pleasure of his company several times a week. And, likewise, Shep likes hanging out at the theater.

Now, you may not be aware, but PJ was bitten by an artistic bug three years ago, and he started painting acrylic portraits of his staff and patrons.  There are currently about 90 painting on display in the lobby.

Well, this past Tuesday PJ painted Shep regaled in his cowboy hat.

And sure as sure can be, who comes sauntering in on schedule for the Wednesday matinee? Shep, of course.

“Hey, Shep guess what?” says an excited PJ. “I painted your portrait yesterday.”

So, PJ gets up from his box office perch and walks Shep and a half dozen other patrons to the painting for a viewing.

Shep’s amazed. People, it should be noted, are flattered and even moved when they see their face on the wall. It is kind of a defining moment for them. It’s a little bit of a validation. A little bit.

Anyway, Shep drawls, “You painted me? I don’t believe it.”

Things then settled down. He stared at his picture. He pointed it out and discussed it with a few other theater regulars. And PJ went back to selling tickets.

Shep then got his popcorn, and with his mouth full of the stuff, walks back over to the box office and delivers one of the best lines PJ has ever heard.

“All this time I only thought you were a Bull Sh-t artist.  I guess I was wrong,” says he.

And with that said, he trudged off to his movie.

And PJ got to writing this column.

Oh, and by the way, here’s the picture.